What is it in life that helps us to succeed most?
There are whole genres of books, videos, and other resources that claim to have the secret to success, or some kind of success. When you read that question, I’m sure there are at least a few things that come to mind: Education, Economic Status, Genes. Maybe where we’re born helps us to have a leg up in the rat race.
Certainly, those are major factors that can help or hinder us in life. But I believe there’s one thing that aids us more than all others combined. This factor ebs and flows, but it’s always available. It morphs with the seasons, and it gives out of reciprocity. I’m talking about community. Truly knowing others and being known, sharing the deeper parts of our lives with others does help us to reach our goals. It even helps us to re-evaluate those goals altogether. But there are even more blessings in community than that. Here are three advantages to having community, starting with the one I just mentioned.
1) Community is success’s greatest ally.
-Think about goals you set for yourself. Maybe it’s a diet, maybe you’re training to run a half marathon or you’re trying to do well on a test. These things come easier when we have someone alongside us, pushing us. Maybe we’re pushing them too. If there’s a task at work you’re having trouble finishing, what lights a fire under you better than your supervisor telling you he/she needs it done? Back to the school example, has anyone ever struggled with an online class where you never would have struggled if it was held in a classroom? In professional settings, we are encouraged to work in teams and collaborate with others so that we might produce the best products and strategies. It’s no secret that throughout our lives, it’s easier to accomplish tasks in a group setting, where we aren’t left to our own tendencies to wander. When the wife goes out of town, does the husband stick to his low calorie, low cholesterol diet, or does he use that opportunity to eat all the foods he knows aren’t good for him?! This sort of mob-mentality with which we’re programmed also helps us in our faith, dare I say especially in our faith. When we’re left to our own selfishness and our own narrow perspective, how often do we seek after the things we know are most important? But at a Bible study or a worship service, we are pressed on all sides to focus on the things of God. Others talk about scripture and application, so we are encouraged to follow. Our friends open up about struggles in their lives, so we feel safe enough to do the same. The apostle Paul writes in Galatians 6 that we are to “carry each other’s burdens”, meaning helping those of us wrestling with sin. James tells us we greatly benefit from sharing our struggles with our brothers and sisters, that from it comes power and healing (James 5). The adage comes to mind, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
2) No one is immune to tragedy and the pain of a broken world.
-We need others who we know deeply and who know us deeply so that we don’t have to mourn and lament alone. Paul tells us in Romans 12 that Christian love means weeping with those who weep. There is no magic elixir to alleviate the mourning heart. Even when our brain knows the souls of our loved ones are secured in Christ, the loss still hurts. Even when we trust God as much as we possibly can, the dread following a diagnosis can still lower us into a place of immense darkness. And in those moments, even with God on our side and in our thoughts, it’s far better to have friends who care, friends who can simply be there, and friends who, when necessary, can continually encourage you with the truths of God.
3) Community is one of the best ways God provides for needs.
-In Acts, we see God moving in wonderful ways in and around His people. They are not a gathering, but a powerful movement in their communities. And as more and more believe on Jesus, they sell their possessions and give to the Church so that all may live without need. A part of Paul’s description of service within the church in Romans 12 is that we should be giving to those among us who are in need. (Romans 12:13 “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”) In fact, Paul writes to the church at Ephesus that the goal of working in the life of a disciple of Christ is not to build up our financial portfolio or fund lavish vacations, but to have enough to give to others as their needs come into our view (Ephesians 4:28). In this way, God uses every community, big and small, to provide for needs inside and outside the group.
For there was not a needy person among them, because all those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the proceeds of the things that were sold, 35 and laid them at the apostles’ feet. This was then distributed to each person as anyone had a need.
–Acts 2:34-35
Those are only three big ways we are wired to need and thrive in community. But there are so many others, as well as downfalls to not having community.
“This sort of mob-mentality with which we’re programmed also helps us in our faith, dare I say especially in our faith. When we’re left to our own selfishness and our own narrow perspective, how often do we seek after the things we know are most important?”
“The best work is done over time, in community.”
You don’t have to look hard to find a study or scientific article on the negative effects of social isolation. Study after study record that people who lack consistent, deep community experience anxiety, depression, cognitive decline, cardiovascular problems, insomnia, aggression, as well as a quickened mortality. And these are just some of the known effects! There are also strong links to dementia and Alzheimer’s.
So community is good for us. Now what does it require of me.
As I said earlier, community is a two way street. It’s reciprocal in nature. You will receive community as you give yourself over to community. And you have to practice certain disciplines to continue to abide well in community. Forgiveness, listening, and patience are some of the disciplines we grow most in as we relate to others on a deep level. And the payout is worth it. Strong social ties produce a fullness of life and purpose that loners can only dream of. Look at the disciples and the early church. Shoot, look at great bands like the Beatles or the Rolling Stones. The best work is done over time, in community.
My friend Matt Maestas once said this too during a sermon he gave. “We have to live outward as we invite people in, because you need me, I need you, and the world needs us.” And it’s true. You do need community. But that community also needs you, and the world around you needs the benefits that come from people pouring themselves out for one another.
Society tells us to compete, to keep up with the Joneses. That drives us to strive for perfection, or at least to look like our lives are all together, and of course, we fall short often. But when we don’t open our lives up and be vulnerable and REAL with other believers whose IDENTITY is also in Christ, then we sit ALONE in our failures. Enter anxiety, depression, breakdown of the family, addiction, and so on.
When all you do at church is sit in the crowd and listen to preaching, you are giving into the spirit of this age which would have you HIDING and seeking information rather than BELONGING and being shaped and formed by your relationship with others. Proverbs 27:17 said it well, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”
To regularly embed yourselves in Christian community with others is how God most consistently makes us more and more the salt of the earth, the light of the earth, how he makes us more of what he has already declared us. It’s one of the greatest ways we experience His love and the “life to the full” Jesus offers. So let’s practice living life in community, where life, growth, and love are found.
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